Lack of Feeling
by darkbluecanvas
Summary: Follow the ups and downs, both personal and professional, of a Raw diva. Will she overcome childhood issues and finally have a normal relationship? Or is she doomed to make mistakes? Characters: OC, Christian, Jericho, Edge
1. Default Chapter

**Title: Lack of Feeling**

**Author: christianlovesme**

**Email: **

**Characters: Original Character, Jericho, Christian, and Edge**

**Summary: Follow the ups and downs of a female wrestler, Alli, and her often confusing personal life.**

**Rating: R- I'm going with R to be safe here…I don't know if it'll stay that way.**

**Author's Notes: _This is probably my worst writing to date. Go ahead and label it Mary-Sue…I don't really care. I'm not happy with the story as a whole, but I need an outlet at this point. Reviews are loved, flames are despised, and constructive criticism isn't really necessary because I know this story is flawed. I'd love it if you reviewed and included what you want to see in the story…_**

The three Canadians were all sitting together at a table in catering. Edge, Christian, and Jericho talked loudly as they went over the events scheduled for the night.  
"Can you believe this?! I'm supposed to chase after Trish...AGAIN." Jericho huffed.  
"You'd think having your still beating heart ripped out of your chest would be enough to teach you a lesson..." Edge mused.  
"Well evidently it's not...and isn't Trish supposed to be with you now?" Jericho motioned toward Christian.  
"I thought so...ah well, who cares about storyline continuity anyway, right?" He replied with a laugh.

The guys continued their normal banter while waiting for the final member of their group to arrive. It was only a two week break, but everyone was itching to see each other again. There was a strange family dynamic that spread throughout the wrestlers.  
"Do you know when Alli's supposed to get here?" Christian asked with a bit of a frown.  
"She missed her first flight, and then she got layed over in DC...so she should be here anytime now..." Jericho responded.  
"I swear she's bad luck, Alli always has the worst shit happen." Edge mumbled.  
"Say something my sweet?" I inquired as I finally arrived.  
The guys grinned at me, and Christian pulled out my seat.  
"Thank you darling." I hugged him quickly. "So, how was everyone's break? I know you all missed me terribly, but it seems you all survived."  
"Just barely...Christian called me every night sobbing." Edge dramatically shook his head. "It was quite tragic."  
"Missed me that much, huh?"  
"Oh yeah, it was awful without you. I had to deal with this jackass getting us lost the entire way home..." Christian shoved Jericho.  
"That was NOT my fault! Just because I wanted to go to Toys R Us does not mean it's my fault we got snowed in...Do you know how hard it is to drive in the snow?"  
I merely raised an eyebrow at his inadvertent confession. "Toys R Us?"  
"Oh shut up..."

I stumbled into the hotel lobby. This was definitely not good. My match was alright, up until the point where Stacy decided it would be a good idea to try something new. That's when I ended up on my head, which explained why I was seeing all sorts of bizarre colors.  
Just as I was about to collapse and call it a night a few steps short of the elevator, a familiar voice called out. It was deep, but not scary, and it had the faintest husky tone to it.  
"Been drinking again? I know you're Irish and everything, but..." He stopped when he saw I was about to fall.  
He quickly grabbed me before my feet left the ground.  
"Very funny Edge..." I mumbled into his neck. "Look at you, all knight in shining armor-like. Do you often save damsels from the perils of hotel lobbies?"  
"You aren't too good with 'thanks for saving me from falling on my ass' are you?" He asked as he walked into the elevator.  
"Not really..." I poked at his chin. "You're all stubbly."  
He looked at me strangely. "Seriously, are you drunk?"  
"No, Stacy kinda dropped me on my head. Not fun...I think I'm concursed."  
Edge chuckled slightly "Concussed, babe."  
"Oh." My eyes widened slightly.  
"I don't think you have a concussion, but you aren't too far off from it. Let's just get you set up in you're room...Which number is it again?"  
I mentally counted backward. Jericho had 322, Christian had 318...  
"316...I think." I dug into my pocket. "Here's the room card."  
I tucked the card into his mouth; he just shook his head and retrieved the card.

The elevator doors opened and Edge, still carrying me, made his way down the hall. I played with his perfect blonde hair as he fumbled with the key card.

"What's going on here?" Christian appeared in the hall with a frown.  
I shoved down from Edge's grasp, which is quite a fall, and hugged on Christian.  
"My head hurts..."  
Christian didn't press the matter, and instead took my room key from Edge and led me into my room.

He had settled me in nicely. My head was propped up on a few pillows, and he had helped me change out of my ring gear. He fell across the bed next to me and rested his head on my stomach.  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yeah...yeah I think I'm pretty okay." I rubbed at his head, gently pulling his hair.  
"That's good to hear. I'm glad you're okay, it's good...you deserve to be happy."  
"Well, happy my dear might be pushing it." I replied.  
"Still mopey over loser ex number 2?"  
"Not quite."  
"It's my brother isn't it? Still got it bad?" He peered up at me.  
"No. Well what we had wasn't exactly crush stuff." I blushed.  
He nodded. "I know what all happened...He isn't exactly Captain Modesty."  
"Oh God, Christian why does this shit always happen?"  
"Because you're too nice to tell my loving brother to fuck off?"  
"We're still friends though...I don't know, it's complicated." I moved around a little, and Christian sat up next to me.

"It always is..." He said with a distant smile.  
I looked at him for a second, trying to figure out his thoughts. I'd been friends with Christian for ages, but he was still elusive. All I wanted was to unwrap the enigma that he'd become...  
"What are you thinking?"  
"That you should probably get some sleep. Take care of yourself alright? Don't let this type of shit get you down." He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and just like that he was gone.

I could still feel where his lips graced my forehead. My stomach had dropped out beneath me, and I was left with fuzzy feelings and tingling sensations.

I sighed deeply. Life was a complicated bitch whose ass I desperately wanted to kick. I hated all these feelings. Edge and I never agreed to a relationship. We were friends...and that turned into fuck buddies. Then we were friends again. It was not a cycle I was particularly fond of. On top of all that insanity, when did I start getting all tingly around Christian?

These were far too many complex thoughts for my extreme blondeness. I slipped under the blankets and wondered when the world decided it was okay to be insane. Not everyone was crazy, that couldn't be. I'll just have to talk to the most sensible guy I know tomorrow. Most people would never put his name and sensible in the same sentence, but I knew better. He was my great listener, the one who never bullshitted me. My Jericho.


	2. Chapter 2

It was 6:13am. I couldn't wait any longer to talk to Jericho. Not only was I driving myself crazy overanalyzing every detail of the day, but I would be riding with all three of my Canadian friends today, and it wasn't likely I would have any other chance to talk to him. I stood outside his hotel room with my fist poised to knock on the door. With a deep breath and a haphazard prayer that he would actually talk to me and not just hide until the blankets, I brought my hand down against the door.

I heard him get out of bed, but I don't think he made it very far, as I heard a rather loud thud. This was quickly followed by a litany of curses. Just as I was going to return to my room, Jericho pulled open the door, the lower half of his body still entangled in a bed sheet.

"Oh Allicat, you better have a helluva reason for waking me up."

"I need girl talk." I explained, before brushing past him and into his room.

"So go talk to a girl."

"Don't be ridiculous, you and I both know that I don't get along with girls. Now humor me."

Jericho sighed, flopped onto his bed, and then gestured that I start talking. That's when I realized there wasn't a whole lot to say. I mean, what, do I confess I still have feelings for Edge? Um, okay, what female with a pulse doesn't? Do I go out on a limb and let him know that I might be feeling something more than friendly for Christian?

"Are you going to talk or just stare at the wall behind me?"

"Does Christian like me?"

"Did you really just ask me that? What, are we in middle school again? Christ, Alli, I don't know." He rubbed his hands over his face.

"You have to know, you're his best friend. Guys talk, don't act like you don't have big sharefests in the locker room."

"Well it's Edge that does most of the sharing about you…"

"Why am I not surprised. One of these days, I swear—"

"Hey, let's cut the bullshit alright? You and I both know that when the chips are down, and one of you is intoxicated or feeling a bit lonely, you shack up. It's a fact of life. I'm not here to judge." Jericho held his hands out as if to placate me.

"Yeah but I don't want that anymore. That's the thing, what Edge and I had worked for awhile, but not anymore. I'm a girl, I can't do the fuck buddy thing without getting attached. It's a fact of life."

"Yes, I've heard about this before…it seems the vagina is the headquarters for all emotions and sound reasoning." Jericho rubbed his chin as if deep in thought.

"Can you be serious for like, two seconds?"

"Well how do you know that Edge isn't feeling the same way? Maybe he's finally ready to grow up and settle down."

I pondered this thought. The blonde Adonis in a committed relationship. That didn't seem likely.

"Pack your shit up, I want to get on the road soon. Wake up the other blondie bears too. I'll be down at breakfast." I tossed out as I left the room.

Oh the continental breakfast. One of the few perks of being on the road near constantly. I filled a bowl with honey dew and cantaloupe before popping a wheat bagel in the toaster. As I waited on my bagel, I looked around to see many of my fellow wrestlers enjoying their breakfasts. It didn't look like anyone I was friendly with was awake yet, so I turned my attention back to the toaster that was now emitting smoke.

"Shit..." I popped the bagel up and pulled it out of the toaster, burning my fingers in the process.

I chucked the bagel in the trash and made a beeline for an empty table. It was force of habit really. Growing up I was always the loner. Despite the fact that I had been working with these people for almost two years now, there were only a handful I had warmed up to.

A small bag of ice was dropped on the table next to my hand. Christian slid into the chair across from me, precariously balancing a bowl of cereal on top of his morning coffee.

"Thanks."

He grunted in response. I had forgotten what my boys were like in the morning without their coffee. That explains Jericho's lack of enthusiasm at seeing me. I couldn't blame them really. We all had our vices. Caffeine for Christian and Jericho. Cigarettes for me. Sex for Edge.

"7 am and Allicat is already injured. Someone was feeling industrious this morning." Edge joked as he sat down at our table.

"7 am and Edge isn't pushing a nameless, faceless girl out of his hotel room. Someone is losing their mojo." I quipped back.

"Ouch. Your words, they wound me!" He made a dramatic showing of putting his hands over his heart.

"Alli, you up for driving first today?" Christian interrupted.

"Only if you are my navigator. Jericho can't follow directions to save his life."

"I resemble that remark." Jericho grinned as he joined the group.

"Don't you mean resent?" Edge asked.

"No, oh blonde one. Unlike many men, I can admit my shortcomings. It is because of this fact that I am internationally loved and admired."

"So how about we get a move on before we have another 'My ego is bigger than yours' contest, okay fellas?" I gave each of them a slight push in the direction of the exit.

When we reached the car, Jericho loaded up the luggage, while Christian opened the driver's side door for me with a flourish.

"Your chariot, mademoiselle."

The caffeine had definitely kicked in. That was my goofy partner in crime. I started up the car and scanned the radio looking for something to listen to. Jericho not so subtly pushed a copy of his band's CD across the center console.

"I think it's a bit early for Fozzy." I pushed the CD back.

Christian chuckled and put the radio on a classic rock station.

"Nice try though man…" Edge said as he ruffled Jericho's hair.


End file.
